12.01.2009

there are fat girls drinking margaritas everywhere, uploading photos to facebook

that is not good or bad, i have no feelings about that. i imagine the fat girls not drinking high calorie drinks anymore and the fat literally melting/evaporating off of them. like, they deflate. what if all fat people in america did that. why do i care. i don't care. what am i saying.

lately i keep thinking, "my life is a sitcom and i'm a minor character with a shitty subplot"

this thought is provoked especially when i am walking to class, smoking a cigarette, then i trip on something

this thought is also provoked after drinking enough to vaguely remember embarrassing myself

this thought is also provoked when i think about being a 24 year old person in college for 6 years, living alone in a messy apartment, taking xanax and falling asleep with her mouth open watching hulu, well-liked by acquaintances but too antisocial and not confident enough to be regularly text messaged, allowing herself to write this sentence, taking herself too seriously

may have put on five pounds all on my ass, ass pounds, five ass pounds, five pounds in the ass, pounding the ass

there is a baltimore club song that goes "make room for the big girl!" i think, they just repeat that phrase over a club beat for a long time, baltimore club music is funny

i can't eat sushi without thinking about the interior of human skin anymore. last night i ate sushi with some classmates and i couldn't stop thinking "i'm eating someone's mouth right now." then i was like, "mmm, it was good"

my refrigerator smells like moss, should i be worried

that will be the title of my memoir: "my refrigerator smells like moss, should i be worried"

this is dumb

blog entries in this blog are not poems or stories or anything, they are blog entries. i'm not sure if this is bad, what are blogs for, what should blogs contain, i forget

there are girls everywhere, making "sexy faces" into cameras while thinking "mm, so sexy, everyone is going to see my true inner sexiness now," taking themselves very seriously

not all of those girls are fat