And: I used the word "and" too many times to count in 2022. It's a useful word. Embarrassed to say I am no longer 100% certain about what its technical name is. I'm 97% sure it's a conjunction. "Some could argue" that it's a preposition, maybe, a liminal and somewhat meta preposition, in its joining of information in some middle perceptual space. Sometimes in 2022 I would use "and" in a manner that wasn't useful; i.e. I would just keep elaborating and expanding on a topic, and would lose track of what I originally intended to say. I don't know if I did that more or less often in 2022 than I have in other years. Probably more, because I think I've spoken maybe more words this year than I have in other recent years. I'm progressively bolder and less self-conscious with my speech every year since 2016, but I still have a ways to go.
Apple: I didn't eat as many apples in 2022 as I ate in other years. I didn't eat much fruit this year. I haven't been a big apple eater in general prior to this year. No reason. I ate an apple yesterday though. It had been so long since I'd done that, it was really...it was nice. Like seeing an acquaintance again, one who was always "around" and you never hung out with one-on-one, though you were always curious about how that would go. For some reason you always stopped yourself from reaching out.
Arnold: Arnold is a town in Maryland. I think some of my co-workers live there. That may be the only time I've interacted with "Arnold" in 2022. I am also not sure if any co-workers live there. "Hey Arnold" is the other thing I know, that is "Arnold." I don't think I've thought about that show this year, until now. But there are so many thoughts during a day, so I feel like I must have. That also seems like some kind of logical fallacy...fallacy of ascribing necessity of [x] given broadness of [y]. Like [y] must contain all the letters that came before it. But no, [y] is just [y], and can contain [a, b, c...x], but just because it can, does not necessarily mean it does contain anything but [y]. Arnold. It sounds funny, "nold" coming after "Ar." Nold. Ar, nold. Why would there be something called "Arnold." It's a name, usually.
Balenciaga: I saw this word (maybe spelled differently) a good amount on social media this year and I never felt motivated to learn about why people were upset or talking about it. Something with child porn, it sounded like. That's upsetting, I agree. The way it would appear...it felt loaded with this "insider energy" or something, like, impossibly full of references...to controversies...to something boring. Balenciaga shoes are so ugly that they look good. I appreciate how offensive they look.
Baltimore: It's the city I live in. I lived here from 2008-2011, then 2016-now. I've lived in a house for all of 2022; the first house I've lived in as an adult that does not belong to my parents. Our neighborhood is quiet, by the water and a big park, residential-feeling, also a little suburban-feeling. In the months before we moved in, we'd come visit, kind of like how you're supposed to let fish stay in their plastic pet store bags while they float in their new tank, getting adjusted to the water. During that time I painted the walls vivid colors, and Blake got into TopShots. Our house has three floors: three bedrooms (ours, then the basement one I'm in now doubles as my office, and Blakes' is just his office), three bathrooms, a big tub, twoish room-sized sitting spaces, a dining room, a big kitchen. As I was writing the thing about bedrooms I thought of that Mitch Hedberg quote: "I bought a house. It's a two bedroom house. But I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This bedroom has an oven in it. This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is over there in that other guy's house." Hehe. I like Baltimore in that I know it well. It is a city with many problems. I've gotten to know about a bunch of those problems firsthand through my work in 2022. I don't want to elaborate, but I do think there's hope. I don't think I want to live here permanently but I'm very happy living here now.
Blake Butler: Blake and I got married this September. I haven't officially changed my last name to Butler, but I will soon. I like the symbolic gesture of it, adding meaning to marriage as a new phase of life. I knew and felt drawn to Blake's internet presence for years, and intuited him as a similar person in our balance and degrees of silliness-to-seriousness, individualistic thinking, a shared curiosity to seek what's beyond what appears, extremity/intensity in terms of what we commit ourselves to, and some shared experiences developmentally with sleep and weight and feeling apart from others. In late April 2020, we started having long phone conversations every night or so, that took a romantic turn, and we decided to meet at the halfway point between Atlanta and Baltimore (Wilmington, NC) in I think May of 2020. Then he visited Baltimore. Then I visited him in Atlanta, where he was staying at our friends' home. I ended up kind of living there for about six weeks (I'd been laid off from a customer service job via pandemic cutbacks, and was collecting unemployment). We drove from Atlanta to New Orleans in August, on a long trip to Baltimore, where he was moving in with me, and he proposed.
Chris Fleming: I've become attached to the point of being hungry for updates of Chris Fleming's zany original comedy this year. He makes me snicker more than belly-laugh, but there is a quality of...just...freshness, I want to say, liveliness, about the snickering. Like the next thing he's going to say will always be something I've never heard. I've watched so much of his stuff now, though, that I do kind of understand his...system...or something. Favorites: the Morton (first thing I saw), DePiglio (I have a DePiglio shirt), Normies Are Getting Creative, the Grad Student Shuffle, Guy Who Came up with the Word Umpteenth, mini-vlogs he posts on his twitter (some of my fav stuff is in here). I wish we were friends.
Complimenting: I liked giving compliments to strangers and people I had small interactions with in 2022. There's always something good to notice about people. It feels better to orient my mind that way than to negatives. I think people don't receive compliments enough. Especially when they're ringing up groceries, or you can tell it's a really busy shift at some restaurant and they're stressed. I don't force it or anything, that would feel worse than no compliment at all. It just started to come naturally to me, to do it more this year. Feels great.
Cory Roof: Blake and I have watched I think close to all of Cory Roof's YouTube food reviews, mostly in the last three months of this year. I love Cory Roof. If I had to give Cory Roof a rating it'd be 5 out of 5 stars.
Cost of living: People started using this phrase as a noun this year. I like how much I can tell people love to say it. The very experience of saying it seems to validate something. Sometimes I tried to engage people in conversations about it this year, just to "get something going," that I thought would be enjoyable. "The cost of living is high." I also observe that to be true. I also have enjoyed saying "cost of living" in 2022. It felt shocking once, to say it to my mom, like "mom knows I'm an adult now."
Crunch Fitness: Signed up in May. I have a long boring story about why this isn't a good gym to sign up with. Let's just say I've entertained an idea I'll never follow through with, about starting a Kickstarter called something to the effect of: Help Me End a Gym Membership Because I Work Longer Hours Now and Don't Need a $50 "Can Bring Guest" Membership Because My Husband Who Formerly Split My Membership with Me Enrolled in a $25 "Cannot Bring Guest" Membership Because I Work Longer Hours Now and the Card Was Under My Name and He Couldn't Use It If I Wasn't with Him Which I Often Wasn't Because I Work Longer Hours Now and Cancelling Memberships Costs $200 If You Haven't Been a Member for a Whole Year and I Have Groceries and Bills and the Cost of Living Is High. I was going a lot though, prior to the long hours. It's a fine gym, enjoyed their group fitness classes as well as wide weight/cardio selection. I liked going with pals too and getting smoothies after. Actually I went today too, because fuck it, might as well.
Dachsund in a clear plastic tote with air holes and paper umbrellas in its water bowl: This seemed like it would've been a good year for people to carry their dachshunds in clear plastic totes with air holes, and place little paper umbrella decorations in their water bowls. It never happened though, that I'm aware of. We're just coming out of a pandemic, so I guess people are still being cautious about trying new things.
Daytrips: I was going to call this "bookstore day trips" but I have enough B things. My pals who are Big Book Bois go on these day-long trips to bookstores in DC/Rockville/Annapolis. I started tagging along in January, and have lots of funny memories of these times, along with a hefty stack of sick finds I'm hoping to finish this year. Some of my favorite hangs of the year. Since this isn't B-specific, I can also address that this has been a year of continuing to go on little daytrips independently, to walk around in nature (Blake is not so much of a Nature Boi, but we've had some nice excursions too).
Deodorant: I really like the deodorant I use, but due to the absence of bad chemicals in it, I use more of it than I would the chemical stuff, so I'm running out of it a lot more often this year. It's palo santo-scented and I forget the brand name.
Dots: Dots are my mom's favorite candy. Growing up, she only liked the yellow and green flavors and I only liked the red, orange, and pink flavors, so the boxes were good to split. I don't like them as much as she does. Dots are also a thing in themselves, a dot, the game "dots." Something I liked doing less in 2022 than other years was pressing my fingers into my closed eyes so hard that I see a grid-like structure of colorless dots. But I still did it a few times, maybe ten times. Seems like dots are everywhere.
Elon Musk: I feel such aversion every time I see this name on social media. Not because of who Elon Musk is, because of people's petty sport-like enjoyment of railing on him. Wealth can corrupt people for sure. But so can unconsciously identifying with a crowd, preaching collective values to the collective choir, as if this is the One True Truth, permanent and unchanging, with total unawareness that everything that's being said with such disdain and vitriol will be forgotten in days. It just feels pathological, this thing crowds do. Even me saying "I don't like the way people express their opinions of Elon Musk" already gears me up to be on the side of "the enemy," from their perspective. They're so jacked up on the feeling of being Correct Opinion-havers that they would totally miss the point that I'm neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the content they're relaying, I'm critical of the way they're relaying it.
Email: 2022 is the year I decided to stop regularly checking my email, and to stop feeling guilty about it. I got the former down, but the latter is a work in progress. I check my work email daily (at work), and I have a new email address I'm starting to give out, for personal use. My gmail got freaking out of control, like 65k unread emails, mostly marketing things.
Eulogies for Peace Is Not Dead: This is the confusing title of what turned out to be a great night of readings/performances this summer, that reminded me of what life felt like when I was a young buck in Charm City. Big Book Boi pal Joey asked me to participate, and we ended up reading a conversation I transcribed, that we had while trying to think of what to read for the event. Video here. Joey and I have been talking about making a whole book of transcribed conversations, and that would be a fun thing to get into in 2023.
Evenflow: I thought Eddie Vedder sang "Even though / thoughts arrive like butterflies," and he just wanted to call the song "Evenflow" because...I don't know, I didn't feel the need to think more about that. What he says though, is: "Evenflow / thoughts arrive like butterflies." I think I told this to Blake this year but I could've said this last year too. We definitely sang "Even though" many times this year. Blake sang "Evenflow" at karaoke at our wedding.
Everdell: This is a game we bought impulsively this year and played once with Ashleigh and Joey. It was so hard to figure out. We had to watch a YouTube video about how to do it, and joked about the video/presentation of it. Finally we figured it out. We started calling it "The Dell," and I think I said "Dude you're getting a Dell," or at least thought it, a lot that night.
Farts: Beavis had the stinkiest farts in 2022. Thick, salty ones. He keeps farting while I'm writing hahhahaahahaha. Aaaahhh oh man, he actually just audibly farted...rare.
Fast and bulbous: Months ago, Blake said, "What do you know about 'fast and bulbous,' 'the mascara snake,' do you know about that?" It was on the tip of my tongue, I knew I knew of some faraway context where these things were said. He played "Pena" by Captain Beefheart (fast and bulbous dialogue excerpted here). It's so funny to me, so...original, so...so...haha. I don't know. I remembered my old friend would play Captain Beefhart when we were hanging out in 2004 or so, but I never really got into it. This year I got obsessed with "fast and bulbous"...I've said "fast and bulbous," "bulbous also tapered," "that's right, the mascara snake," and other lines so much at home this year. Not so much in public. Noticed though, that when I say "that's right," just normally in conversation, I often automatically say it the way he says it. We watched a documentary on Don van Vliet, liked learning about him. Still not that into the music itself.
Fenti: Keep thinking there is something called "Fenti." It's called Fenty, it's a makeup company by Rihanna. I wonder if she regrets calling it Fenty because of fentanyl.
Foreign country: It feels like I've needed to use my passport to travel somewhere this year. I've spent probably five total minutes last night and today earnestly trying to remember "what was that country I traveled to this year." But no, I haven't gone out of the country this year.
Fridge dispenser: We have one of those deluxe water/ice dispensers built into our freezer door. Since replacing the water filter, the water dispenser is the way I get water. I have not spilled water all over the floor maybe two or three times. It drives me bonkers.
Friends: 2022 has been a good stable year for fun times with friends. I got to see out-of-town friends on some little trips, and I see my Baltimore friends every week or so. My parents didn't really have friends, as I was growing up, and I had no siblings my age or family I saw regularly, so it feels encoded in me to just be alone or with my relationship partner. That's what will happen by default, I learned in my 20s. But that's not what I really want for myself, and it's not what makes me happy; my therapist is always telling me "you have a healthy streak of extraversion, you can lean into that more," so I've been trying to do that since 2017 (when I started seeing her). Before that, it'd been years since I had a solid group of folks. I messed up most of my friendships I'd had in Baltimore with the person I became on drugs and alcohol, but a lot of those folks drank heavily too, and I'm not sure if they still do. I'd like to reach out again but something is stopping me, and currently the something feels more powerful. This is the first time in my life (2017-present) where I feel actually "gotten" and "got" in return, by my friends.
Fuckboy Island: I tried to watch this show this year and it wasn't interesting. I don't like the word "fuckboy" and I'm still not sure what it means. Like, is a fuckboy good? People seem to...like it...
Garmonbozia: I'm getting tired of writing reviews and I want to stop for a little bit. I indulged in writing a lot about Blake and our wedding. I had to split the wedding up into another section, you'll see if you keep reading.
God: I'm private about my religious/spiritual values and practice. First it was trendy to be "spiritual," now it's trendy to be "religious." Something about that makes me want to mostly sit this topic out. But 2022 was a year I continued to deepen my relationship with the loving entity who created everything, who I'm comfortable calling capital-G God, because I wanted to settle on calling it something. I haven't understood fully, the love...I first understood the power, the unfathomable largeness–due to these, I felt lost and insignificant, forgotten by God, for most of my life. In 2019 I had a profound experience of the living personal relationship God has with me, with all of us, if we're open to it, and that unfathomable largeness transformed from a source of despair to a source of wonder and awe. The fact of this personal relationship, of the wonder and the awe too, gives me a rational understanding of God's love, but my emotional understanding is still patchy. I started praying to know it at the beginning of this year. I've experienced glimpses of it, and some frustration that I'm occluding longer impressions, but maybe this is just something that needs to be shown to me in piecemeal. Or maybe my understanding is backwards. I'm hoping to remain open to whatever I need to be open to, and to be shown where my errors are, for 2023.
Greek food: I decided I don't really like Greek food this year.
Grunion run: This phrase popped into my head other night. "Grunion run." Pretty sure I haven't thought of it in years. It's something I first heard from my mom–she'd say, delightedly sarcastically, "The running of the grunion." Like, if some boring option was presented on vacation, she'd be like, "Or we can always watch the running of the grunion; yes, yes, we mustn't forget the grunion run." "The grunion run" was the more boring option, stated to amplify how boring the proposed option was. Mom. I like it, grunion run is something good that happened this year.
Harvesting: My pal Julia showed me a phone game called Merge Magic this summer and I have watched a tiny text bubble that says "Harvesting..." appear over so many cute characters' heads this year as I tippy-tap-tap them with my ding dong finger. I'll be sitting on this beanbag on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and Blake will come downstairs and say, "She's harvesting," or "She's passive playing" ("passive play" is a term Julia informed me about, from a Reddit about this game, that...I actually don't do often, I am more of an active hypnotic harvester). Harvesting is embarrassing and I'd like to do it less next year.
Hidden Palace: This is a monthly reading series my pal Ash does; I've only gone to a few, but they were all so fun and intimate and chill. You get the feeling everyone really wants to be there, to listen and discover new writing and make new friends, totally free of NYC-like pretension. Ash is leaving in a couple weeks, to teach creative writing at Boone University, which I'm so happy she gets to do, but I'm going to miss her a lot. Ash has a knack for bringing folks together. I've been meeting new friends I associate with these readings, and Joey is taking over when she leaves, and he'll do a great job carrying the torch too.
Ibiza: There's this part in "Losing My Edge" by LCD Soundsystem, a song that has charmed me since my first listen around age 20, with an equally charming/funny music video (more funny than charming, but I'm charmed by the idea of a video of a single shot of the artist getting slapped for the duration of the song, especially one with tonally self-deprecating lyrics), where he says "I woke up on the beach in Ibiza in 1988." He says "Ibiza" with a lisp; it feels so perfect, biting, smart. This line and about 3.5 minutes of the song are cut from the music video. In 2022 I sang a lot of car karaoke (playlist here), and I like doing this song...the part where you get to yell all the band names like a defecting computer...
Ibsen/ISBN: It's hard for me to read one of these words without thinking of the other, or pronouncing "Ibsen" as "is-ben," or "ISBN" as "Ibsen." There are other things like this that confuse me. Can't think of any right now.
Ice cream: There's an ice cream place by us, B'more Licks. Summer 2021, Blake and I went there every day, gained 10lbs or so each, then went on a 1000 calorie a day Richard Simmons diet Blake did as a kid for a month. We were more sparing and conscientious this year. They advertise over 100 flavors (because you can combine flavors/create-your-own soft serve). It's high quality and affordable, there's usually a huge line out the door. Favorite flavors: peanut butter Oreo, apple pie, Mexican hot chocolate, Orioles...something (orange cream with brownie pieces), Fruity Pebbles, strawberry Nutella, Samoa, banana pudding. Ash and I like the disgustingly loaded flavors, and Blake and Joey are more partial to simple flavors.
Independence Day: It's a movie I've seen maybe more than all other movies, so much so that I know what the characters will say in each scene, sometimes to the exact lines. Last month I "made" Blake watch it with me again, and I cried a few times due to...something about its familiarity to me, over time, its overt unapologetic "not a 'great film' that you're 'supposed to like'"-ness, the innocent antiquity of its effects that were big box office draws in 1996, the sadness of a big box office movie forgotten over time, and how even despite the big box ethos, there is some gold in here, its themes are clearer and more precious to me as I get older. It's a cheesy movie but it's a metaphor for individuation and freedom and the goodness in humanity. I don't think it's a realistic portrayal of what actual aliens would be like, the aliens are metaphors for the dark parts of ourselves. Hahahahahhahaa. Shut up, I love this dang movie.
Jergens: This is one of my favorite non-sequiturs Blake says. Other favorites from this year: area rug (I'm getting an area rug tattoo soon), area fart, area dot sandwich, house dressing, Harris, Harris review, parents review, Buster Brown, I'm Bill Clinton, shitty lamps, city college, maestro, moist, banana eating, pump snakes, stanwich, stangwich, mustard eating, pumps, "____ per minute," "____ per hour." I've been keeping a list of all of them since 2020, and I'm trying to get him to write explanations of what each one means. Here's what he said about Buster Brown: "'I feel confident right now,' conveying a message that's not cocky or disrespectful; it's like gamesmanship, 'on with the show,' in the spirit of the game."
Job: I got a job I care deeply about on January 18 of this year. Last month, I got the "Mission Star" award for employee of the quarter, for my efforts to do a good job. That was emotional for me, because I work hard and care a lot about the people on my caseload, and what this company I work for is doing for people in Baltimore. The job is basically like social work (I applied to get experience for a social work master's with a clinical focus, to practice therapy). I help people with a wide range of problems (housing, employment, getting benefits and addressing barriers to doing so, connecting to other resources, crisis intervention and navigating hospital systems, organizing/scheduling appointments, advocating for them to providers/agencies, diet/nutrition/exercise, stress management/coping skills, communication skills, and a lot of the time just listening to what's going on and trying to be there for them). I make less money than I did at my customer service job, and waitress job, but I have a higher quality of life because I'm doing something to help the futures of others and my own.
Lemons: I noticed there are usually always 2-3 lemons in the fridge this year, in varying stages of decomposition. I always forget if we have them when I grocery shop. I like using lemons as seasoning in lots of foods. For a while I was making lemon/ginger/cayenne "shots," but I think that was 2021, actually. This hasn't been a big healthy eating year for me–it's hasn't been a big unhealthy eating year either–but I'm getting back on track.
Light: In 2022 I continued to be transfixed and moved by how light appears in the rooms of my house at different times of the day, on walks and drives, gazing at the sky. One night this spring, I walked Beavis in the park and laid in the grass watching a sunset after a storm, all purple and orange and pink and dark, sensing the presence of a dialogue between my thoughts and changes in the sky, occasional lightning flares in the clouds.
Liminal spaces: They make me feel so much. One of the only things I like about twitter, really, this year. I love when I spot a limmy in the wild; I started a twitter of wild limmies I've spotted that I haven't updated in months. There's a bunch of limmy reddit stuff out there too, but I haven't gotten into reddit yet.
Malls: The ultimate bastions of liminal space-itude. Walking around a mall makes me feel so much. It drops me in an altered state, where I'm simultaneously feeling like a tourist/spectator while experiencing deeply forged memories of the normalcy and consistency of these places in my life throughout time. It's kind of like a circus ride. Blake and I go maybe once or a couple times a month, especially when it's colder. Most frequented malls this year: Westfield Annapolis (pictured), Towson Town Center, Anne Arundel Mills, Columbia Town Center. Cranberry Square, Owings Mills Mall, and Security Square are all ones from my childhood that have become depressing in a way that feels satisfying to explore.
Menstruation: I've had irregular periods since age 12. In my twenties and early thirties, I think there were five or six total years where I didn't menstruate at all, probably due to drugs and sparse eating–the only thing that'd get me to have them was birth control, which I don't like using. I was in a "regular" kind of cycle, of having a period once every two or so months, from 2018-2021. When I started my job, my cycle pretty much normalized. It's pretty much 30-35 days long, always light. No birth control. Victory.
Mister Boy: Something I called Beavis a lot this year, more frequently pronounced "Meester Boy." Other nicknames: Meester, Meest meest, Squibbus, Squibster, Squibby, Squiblet, Beavies, Beavjango, Bempy, Beaver Boy, Beavis Jones, Beaver Jones.
Mommy: Joey started calling Mom's Organic Grocery Store "Mommy's," maybe year before last. The "mommy" joke has really taken off this year though. It never fails to make me giggle, when one of us (me, Joey, Ash, Blake) nonchalantly drops a deadpan "mommy." Like, "Oh hold on a minute guys, my mommy is calling me."
Nematode: I interacted with "nematode" once this year, when we thought Beavis might have worms. He didn't. I looked up all the kinds of worms and felt like I had worms. I didn't. That cellar door thing...I was exposed to it in Donnie Darko: people say "cellar door" is the most beautiful combination of words in the English language. I think it's more like "nematode animal husbandry."
Nicorette: I chewed so much of this in 2022. I switched from cigarettes to e-cigarettes in 2013, then from e-cigs to vapes in 2014, then I really...got out of control, with huge insane big boy battery vapes when I didn't really interact with any people in 2015, then I did a vape study at JHU and learned vape clouds turn to aerosol and leave heavy metal deposits in your lungs in 2015 and went back to e-cigarettes and "little vapes" 2015-2016, then I tried to quit vaping by going back to cigarettes and cigars 2017-2018, then gave up and went back to vapes 2018-2020, then I read a book about how to quit vaping Dec. 2020 and stopped as a Christmas present to myself, but I've just been railing Nicorette since. Railing. I feel helplessly addicted to it. Sometime this year, mid-argument with Blake, I stubbornly threw out all my Nicorette and tried regular gum for a day. But then he was like "Come on, I don't want you to throw it away" (he didn't have a problem with me chewing it, I was just making a "grand gesture" to prove a stupid point).
Normal's: Before the job I'm at now, I briefly worked at the best book/record store in Baltimore, Normal's (from November or December 2021 until Jan). I was pretty sad to leave, actually, and didn't plan to leave so soon, as I'd been applying for social work-y jobs for the past year or so prior and no employers were biting. One of my favorite old coworkers from Ukazoo (bookstore where I worked 2008-2010) worked there too. It was just such a warm and comfortable thing to do again, to catch up with him and to get to know my other coworkers–a loose end I didn't even know needed tying. I started feeling something coming alive in me too, working here, that had long been dormant (another reason I was sad to leave)–something like inspiration, belonging, an entry to a creative side of me I've sort of shoved in a drawer. Rupert, Normals' master curator/owner and harbinger of all things underground and exciting in the city, is one of the kindest and most genuine, real individuals I've had the pleasure of knowing. I was meeting all of these interesting regulars at the store too, becoming maybe a regular in turn. Dang I really miss it there. It's still there! I just need to go there more often.
Pal: You may have noticed I use the word "pal." Julia says it, it's a warm little thing to say. I like when she calls me her pal. It's jolly...jollier than "friend." I still say friend too, duh.
Paper towel filter: For the past month or so, we've been out of coffee filters. I've been using paper towels. No discernible difference. I'm so much in the habit of using them, that I forget to add them to the grocery list. Maybe this will help me remember.
Parking: My neuroticism with parking has skyrocketed in 2022. I actually didn't know I was so neurotic about it until this year. Parking sucks in our neighborhood. I'm always pointing good spots out to Blake when he's driving–to be fair, incredibly tight spots, though ones I'm no stranger to attaining (Blake also acknowledges my parallel parking skills). It's kind of a perfect storm, our parking dance. Blake has a short fuse in high-pressure minutiae situations, where things will likely go wrong, and parking is one of those situations for him. I'm calm and confident about navigating things like that. Usually that works out well for us, but I lose my cool when I start fiending for the perfect space. I'm content to spend 10 minutes enjoying the challenge of inching into a daredevil spot, but Blake just can't take it. He can't even be in the car when I do it, he has to go out to the sidewalk, and huff and puff and stomp his feet like Larry David, and probably less than two minutes go by before he tells me this isn't working and he wants to take over. I'm trying to chill out with my fiending and let him take the reins on this, because for some reason it just feels like a lot more is at stake about all of this with him.
Phone number: I changed my phone number in 2022. I had my old phone number since 2001. It's been working out great, except I've been getting fair amount of texts addressed to a person named "Foula," who seems to have been looking for jobs at some point. Probably just spam...spam got more unhinged in 2022.
Plastic: A material widely used in 2022. Microplastics and plastic surgery both seem to have come up a lot this year. When we were kids our toys were plastic, and now people are injecting themselves with plastic and eating it and having sex with it. It feels sad to me, plastic. Sometimes it's beautiful.
Quality: Just pictured Ian Curtis dancing/flailing and singing "qualit-ayyy qualit-ayyyyy qualitay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ayyyyyyyy" as an elderly man, having survived, opening for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I don't think there's a Joy Division song where he sings "quality" like that. This would be something new they did, unfortunately.
Reading: I've done this so infrequently this year. I just wanted to be a zombie or TV/errand escapist after work, but the zombie escapism started to feel like a sickness in these last couple months. I judged myself harshly for this, but that's not functional, so I've just cut down on TV the past few weeks and am now experiencing pleasant up-cycling effects on my mood and self-efficacy. At first I wanted to go cold turkey, i.e. no TV at all, but sometimes it feels nice to spend a few hours reading or writing and then turn on a movie before bed. I have so many great things to read, and life is so short, I don't want to waste it.
Red Zone: Blake watches Red Zone every Sunday during football season. It's ten or so hours of commercial-free football, showing the most exciting moments of the games (when the players are in the "red zone," closest to scoring touchdowns). This one part of the theme music is so emotional, I found myself humming it in Rite Aid recently, thinking it was from a movie. I tried to find who composed it, but no dice. I'm endeared by how hard Blake goes with his football hobby, and how it reflects the broadness of his character. Meaning...usually people who are into art or literature are just into those or related things, like movies, the same way that people who are into sports are usually just into sports or fitness-related things. But Blake has developed both sides, making him more well-rounded. I'm slowly learning about football; I do like basketball more.
Scented candles: I've embraced being a basic aging millennial who takes pleasure in sparse acts of domestic consumerism in 2022. Sight and smell are my favorite of the five senses. My vision is a little better than 20/20, and I feel like my nose is similarly sensitive. Scent has a powerful link to memory for me, like [x smell] will take me right back to April 2017, or whenever. I like "conjuring" memories of smells when I'm remembering places I've been, so taking pleasure in an array of scents helps ground my memories for better recall in the future. "Candles keep my mind sharp:" that's my rationalization, because I do feel a little embarrassed about how much I fiend for them. They're pretty much my only extravagance, other than Spa World (below). Favorites: Nudesse, Valkiria, Nympholia, Panjoree Lychee, Ash (Copal Fantomé and Thé Fantomé, seemingly discontinued, were the best from this company though), Ghost Money, Chandelier, Rattan, Palo Santo, Tomato Leaf & Basil, Sandalwood Rose, Encens 9 (haven't bought yet because $ but I love smelling it in the store and might buy someday); not candles, but Blackbird incense: Rosie, Ploom, Ai, Tilde, Gorgo.
September 11, 2022: This is the day Blake and I got married. I wrote about this under "Blake Butler" but that section became too long. Our friend Gene married us at the Visionary Art Museum. I wore my mom's dress from when she renewed her vows with my dad in 1987. I wanted to include a lot of pictures but the layout started driving me bonkers and I have other reviews to write. Our wedding is such a happy memory now, probably the most fun I've had this year...that weekend was the most fun in a long time. It was nuts to see so many people I love and don't get to see often in one place; surprised and touched by how many people came. 
Shark Tank: 2022 was the year of the Tank. It feels actually like the only show that needs to be on TV, maybe the only "safe" show there is, in its absence of narrative manipulation and gimmicks, and its unapologetically boldly capitalistic (instead of subversively capitalistic) nature. You're not going to be bullshat if you put on the Tank. It's just the same thing every time: people present products they've invented, the Sharks provide feedback, sometimes there is a deal, sometimes there is not. Blake and I have it on in the background nearly every weeknight, I think. It's been one of my "comfort shows" since I discovered it in 2014 or so. What I love about it: the spirit of inventiveness, inspirational stories of people who brought their ideas to fruition (even though the world is saturated with dumb products and marketing now, and I gripe about this often), the grab-bag individuality of people presenting products (has become more uniform over time, i.e. less funny weirdos), getting to watch the negotiations/deals, and mostly talking with Blake about personality quirks and hypotheticals about the Sharks (Mark Cuban especially, who I see as very similar to Blake).
XTC: "Generals and Majors" was one of my most-replayed songs of 2022. I like the jaunty percussion and bass line, mournful yet optimistic melody, whistling, how the bridge and transitions are handled, lyrics, diminishing outro.
