turn my swag on

i feel completely asexual, in a way where i think i could probably be single forever and it would be okay.

the internet is overwhelming. 'everyone' 'is all' 'like' 'this' on the 'internet' now 'bro.' looks sarcastic.

my feet smell so bad and it is so good. 

i feel a surge of positive feelings when i hear "break up" by mario featuring sean garrett and gucci mane on the radio. i have been driving a pontiac grand prix rental car. it has a really good sound system. i listen to hip hop radio extremely loudly in it and crack myself up.

most of the things i feel lately: exhausted, drunk, vaguely ambitious, extreme silliness, bored/completely neutral, hopeless/overwhelmed about small things, resistant to things i "have to" do.

those are actually the feelings that have dominated my late teen to adult life so far, i think.

i wish this missed connection was for me:

and this one:

i don't know what i would do if they were, though. probably nothing. the idea of starting a romantic relationship is very unappealing to me right now, but the possibility of gaining feelings of validation is appealing. i don't know.

those are the only things i feel inspired to say right now.

someone from elmer, new jersey supplies this blog with the most hits.

someone else looked at this entire blog and didn't say anything.


Anonymous said...

I am the Elmer, NJ resident that is most frequently viewing your blog. I enjoyed your story at 3am, and found your blog and find it quite entertaining. Although, I must admit that a lot of my views were accidental as your blog was saved right next to actual google on my bookmarks. I have since moved it. But I will continue reading.

Keep up the writing and the blog. I especially liked your comment about not putting yourself into situations where you could possibly receive a positive response from others. I feel that to be a fitting description for my life currently. Good Luck

ryan manning said...

the sacred heart is a religious devotion to jesus' physical heart as the representation of divine love for humanity

kira said...

oh, oh, that second missed connection...bestill my missed-connection-obsessed heart. why the fuck isn't someone somewhere wondering about what my shoulder blades look like when i sleep?

DJ Berndt said...

drunk is a feeling.

tomhanks said...

hi elmer, nj. i'm glad you like my blog and story. i hope you didn't see my comment as accusatory or something. i'm glad you feel similar things as me sometimes. good luck to you too.

hi ryan, i didn't know what that referred to at first, but now i do, haha.

hi kira, yeah seriously

hi dj, life is a highway