10.22.2008

I had a dream that there was this thing called "GapNews" which was entertainment news broadcast on a large screen outside of all Gap stores, 24/7.

The news said that Stuart Murdoch, lead singer of Belle & Sebastian, was dead. Everyone thought this was funny and cute, and was saying "oh, that's twee pop for you!" sarcastically, but I was actually really sad about it. I sort of knew they would never make the same kind of music again, if they even stayed a band after he died.

There was something else about a boardwalk and being cold and having sand blow on me. And parking a car. I don't remember.

I've slept for twelve out of the past forty-eight hours. That means I've been asleep one quarter of the time. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. I feel like I've been awake for three months straight. Even though just a few weeks ago, I was sleeping most of the time. I feel like I'm sort of in a dream state most of the time, and my functioning with other people is almost solely autopilot-based.

I think I like food because it makes me feel grounded. I feel like there is no gravity around me.