I'm watching the Rachel Zoe show right now. I haven't watched reality t.v. for a long time. Reality t.v. takes itself so seriously. I think the words/phrases that are most frequent on reality t.v. are "just", "god", "I mean", "hard", "understand".

Imagining my life as a reality show is really funny to me.

There would be dramatic close-ups of me looking out the window and talking to myself, saying things like, "I just don't know." The sky would be grey. "I just don't want to go outside today."

My "confessional" moments where it's just me talking directly to the camera would be saying things like, "I couldn't decide if I wanted to have half of a cantaloupe or cereal or both. I spent over fifty seconds thinking about it. God. It's just so ----ing hard sometimes."

Then there would be a shot of me looking in the mirror. There would be a voiceover: "even though I have a lot of clothes, sometimes nothing feels right." Then I would take off all my clothes and lie down and there would be Gaussian blurs on my private parts.

There would be a shot of me lying on my couch and Alvie, my grey cat, curled up in my armpit. "He thinks I'm his mom."

I would lie down on my bed and hold my cell phone up to my ear and pretend I was talking to someone. I would say, "aslkasj askjdhkasjdhsakjhd murmrurmaurmmaruruar. barm. brarb. baaraebaem." but very dramatically.

I guess I lie down a lot.