muumuu house published two of my things, a poem and a piece of fiction.

i feel really good about this. i feel excited.

blog hits are at rap star levels.

the piece of fiction is called 'everyone i've had sex with.' it is not really fiction in the sense that it is 'false' information, but it is fiction in the sense that memory fictionalizes experiences, i guess. and the names are different.

i didn't write it to be 'outrageous and dramatic' or create any bad feelings in any person, it was just something i wrote awhile ago to take inventory on an area of my life.

it is strange to me that i feel completely comfortable with people who i don't know in real life reading this, but uneasy about people who i do know* reading it. i was objective and fair i think, in describing my experiences. i didn't embellish anything. identities are, on the surface, 'protected'/anonymous. unsure of whether i should tell people i've had sex with about this.

sex to me is just something that people do, it's not good or bad. knowing a person's sexual history has no effect on my opinion of them. i could've written something called 'everyone i've been to target with' and i think it probably would have had the same effect**.

i just thought about re-titling it 'everyone i've been to target with' and i laughed, kind of like it, i don't know.

*edit: people i've had sex with

**edit: not to say that sex isn't an emotional experience, which it is/can be, but i guess i don't place the same 'moral' standards on it as some people i know/i don't understand how someone could be called a bad person because of who they have sex or don't have sex with, seems arbitrary.

this blog post feels futile to me.


Crispin Best said...

i liked the things on muumuu house a lot

tomhanks said...

hi crispin

thanks, i'm glad

sara said...

i agree with everything you are saying
it is almost weird
how much i agree, in general
i've always wanted to write something like this, i'm glad you did. i really like your writing.

Anonymous said...

'everyone i've had sex with' made me feel better and more comfortable with myself. i've had more sexual partners than my friends and always worry that i'm abnormal or could be seen as a 'whore' but right after reading your list i made one of my own and i feel a lot better. it was comforting and liberating. so yeah. thank you.

Tao Lin said...

sweet post

Jordan Reynolds said...

I was looking at Tao Lin's article on poetryfoundation.org and found myself wandering over to muumu house. I loved your piece, "everyone i've had sex with." I was chatting on gmail with a friend before I started reading and sent her the link.

She chatted back immediately saying that she wanted more "juicy details" (penis size, etc.), and I tried to explain to her the beauty of the thing you did. She found the oral sex ration funny, but had obviously not read through the list chronologically in the two seconds it took for her to respond. I found that her "scrolling" (her words) was an interesting commentary about what the American public looks for.

As for what you did (as far as I can tell): you explored the usually mundane act of sex ("condoms, mostly")and the mechanics of intimacy in a fashion that expressed the events in their organic shape. Your artistic focus blotted through in your juxtaposition of your sexual encounters with intimate (non-sexual) detail: ("One time we fell asleep on his basement floor, holding each other.").

Gave me goosebumps.

All of this, I did while sitting at my dayjob, looking out at a courtyard filled with no people. I am quite happy report that your writing gave me no erection. I am happy to report that I feel positively about the experience of reading you.


tomhanks said...

hi anonymous

that makes me feel good, i'm glad it inspired 'i'm okay with myself' and 'liberating' feelings in you. you probably don't have more sexual partners than your friends.

hi tao


hi jordan

i'm glad you understood the intent. i thought that some people might think i was just trying to be exploitive or was one of those 'histrionic emotional wreckage' people or something.

your description of reading it was very interesting to me, i feel sort of fascinated with your description, like, 'damn, really? goosebumps, really?' flattered, i think, is the word for what i feel. thanks.

Annie said...

indeed, i liked the sex list. for some reason it was comforting to see such a structured, laid out list of someone-i-didn't-know's sex history. i usually see that as very intangible and abstract, yet there it was.

Janus said...

Sex makes me afraid.

exadore said...

we have the same last name. freaky. i have a cousin named megan. i hope you're not her.

John said...

Hey - yeah, this is about the sex list thing over at muumuu - fantastic! I kind of secretly hope that I'm on a list somewhere, preferably in a positive way. I think it's difficult to write about sex in a new/non-cliche/interesting/non-slutty/I'm-not-a-freak way. Congrats on that -

Jordan Castro said...

i liked reading your poem and stuff a lot. feel like elaborating would just 'reiterate points already made' or something.

nice blog.

kira said...

although i like your sex list piece a lot, i'm here to give "mad propz" to your gym drum solo post. love it. LOVE. i can relate to its absurdism meets realism crosshairs. well done.