i keep hearing my cell phone alarm go off in my head and it is making me anxious

i told my friend i couldn't go out tonight because i felt feverish but really i just didn't want to perform socially and get too drunk and fall off my bike

there is this big music thing this weekend that i should be excited about, that i might be excited about tomorrow

i haven't really eaten in the past two days, i don't know why, it feels weird, my jeans feel loose

i don't know why i'm writing any of this down right now, i feel like the ethos of a blog post is 'teehee, i'm trying to portray casual indifference while secretly knowing that i'm very important, obviously i am important because i have an audience,' because i know that shouldn't i be immune to it or something?

i just said 'ethos of a blog post'

what an asshole

okay whatever

when my friend first visited my apartment he said it smelled great but the last time he came over i said, 'sorry, i need to clean,' and he said, 'yeah, smells like it'

then i wouldn't let him use the bathroom until i cleaned my cat's litter box

a few years ago i kicked him out of my parent's house because he told me my feet smelled

we argued for a really long time about my feet smelling, like from a car ride to my house then maybe 15 minutes at my house

he couldn't believe i was kicking him out and he said, 'fine!' and i said, 'you are being a jerk right now,' and he said, 'fine!' i think, something like that


i made myself eat half of a subway sandwich because i need to eat something. i sat at subway alone, reading and eating for the purpose of sustaining life rather than fun

some acquaintances sat at the table next to me and i felt uncomfortable. they ate in silence and that made me feel comfortable. when they left, one of them said 'hey megan,' but i didn't think he meant me so i didn't look up, then he banged his hand on my table and i jumped and looked extremely surprised and he laughed and acted apologetic and i didn't know what to say but i smiled a lot and i think i said 'have a good day' but it's nighttime

after that i was in the park reading until things started to bite me

i walked home and heard 'bohemian rhapsody' playing somewhere either in traffic or in someone's house

hearing 'bohemian rhapsody' makes me insanely happy no matter what, and i don't know if i should feel embarrassed about that

i have no idea what the song 'bohemian rhapsody' means, but 'bohemian rhapsody' is extremely sure of what it means, to the point of being maybe the most melodramatic of any song, it seems funny to me

'bohemian rhapsody' is like a blog post because it takes itself very seriously

i made it my sole purpose in life to find where 'bohemian rhapsody' was coming from

i looked around a lot and stared places

i accidentally stared at this fat guy and he looked interested

he thought i wanted to have sex with him, probably

i wanted to yell, 'DON'T THINK WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX'

most of my social duties consist of trying to convince different groups of acquaintances that a different group of acquaintances is my primary group of friends

there are text messages and emails that i have never responded to and i want to have an answer to why i haven't responded to them but i don't

i just took an online quiz in my head and found out that i am 58% more concerned with not smelling bad than most people my age, which isn't a lot, but it's 'above the curve' i guess

i just took another online quiz in my head and found out that the disney character who my personality most resembles is the dick that some guy painted into the cover of 'the little mermaid'


DJ Berndt said...

This is a good blog post.

Tao Lin said...


colin bassett said...

yes, liked it

michael said...

i read this and wanted a subway sandwich and ate spinach salad instead and got a purposefully bad tattoo and drank a lot and a girl i like said "i love my boyfriend" and i felt sad and drank more and she rode on the back of my moped and my friend was angry at me for driving it on a busy street while i was drunk and i really like this blog post a lot seriously

Danielle said...

just read the list of everyone you have had sex with. my therapist recently suggested that I make a list of my sexual values to avoid situations where he says 'my hope overrides my widsom'. yeh, something like that. i don't think i could do that with a straight face. i don't even know if i agree with his statement at all, actually. what you did seems like a much better idea to me.

ari shiffrin said...

i also just read your list of everyone you had sex with and it made me feel shitty the same way the Less Than Zero made me feel shitty. i was glad to finish it and be done with it, and then i followed it to this blog.

michael said...

i wish you 'blogged more often' like everyday

i would be excited to read your new blogpost everyday

we don't have old bay in little rock







tomhanks said...

feel like i should leave a general comment responding to all comments

thanks for comments, all

michael, 1) goddamn. also, you have a moped? interesting 2) hehe. i have anxiety about blogging too much. just read that sentence and thought 'ridiculous'

danielle, hi, it felt good to do, recommended

ari, hi, not sure if that's bad or not

ellie said...


more posts, please.

La La Geez said...

Please keep posting. I like your posts very much. It made me laugh and I like myself a bit more afterwards.