12.15.2008

i have a normal looking female body, i think. it used to be pretty skinny, like size four skinny, but now it's "normal", about size six or eight. i'm crazy.

it's a female body charlie kaufman or noah baumbach would want a character to have in one of their movies to look "authentic" or "real", to set them apart from big studio movies. that makes me feel good and kind of elitist. but it also makes me wonder about my attractiveness.

i don't like thinking these thoughts, but i haven't thought of thoughts to replace them yet, and i don't even really think it works that way.

i think these pants make me look like a seal. not in a fat way, in a dark blue and smooth way. i think if the word "seal" were a color it would be indigo. i'm crazy.