12.01.2009

there are fat girls drinking margaritas everywhere, uploading photos to facebook

that is not good or bad, i have no feelings about that. i imagine the fat girls not drinking high calorie drinks anymore and the fat literally melting/evaporating off of them. like, they deflate. what if all fat people in america did that. why do i care. i don't care. what am i saying.

lately i keep thinking, "my life is a sitcom and i'm a minor character with a shitty subplot"

this thought is provoked especially when i am walking to class, smoking a cigarette, then i trip on something

this thought is also provoked after drinking enough to vaguely remember embarrassing myself

this thought is also provoked when i think about being a 24 year old person in college for 6 years, living alone in a messy apartment, taking xanax and falling asleep with her mouth open watching hulu, well-liked by acquaintances but too antisocial and not confident enough to be regularly text messaged, allowing herself to write this sentence, taking herself too seriously

may have put on five pounds all on my ass, ass pounds, five ass pounds, five pounds in the ass, pounding the ass

there is a baltimore club song that goes "make room for the big girl!" i think, they just repeat that phrase over a club beat for a long time, baltimore club music is funny

i can't eat sushi without thinking about the interior of human skin anymore. last night i ate sushi with some classmates and i couldn't stop thinking "i'm eating someone's mouth right now." then i was like, "mmm, it was good"

my refrigerator smells like moss, should i be worried

that will be the title of my memoir: "my refrigerator smells like moss, should i be worried"

this is dumb

blog entries in this blog are not poems or stories or anything, they are blog entries. i'm not sure if this is bad, what are blogs for, what should blogs contain, i forget

there are girls everywhere, making "sexy faces" into cameras while thinking "mm, so sexy, everyone is going to see my true inner sexiness now," taking themselves very seriously

not all of those girls are fat

23 comments:

Tao Lin said...

seems sweet

Sarah Schneider said...

i would read that memoir

Masha said...

I related to this. I laughed at the ass part.

I don't know if being insecure is good or bad. Does it matter.

Anonymous said...

nothin' wrong with ass pounds

P. Edward Cunningham said...

寿司, 鮨, or 鮓

ryan manning said...

Kanji are the Chinese characters that are used in the modern Japanese logographic writing system along with hiragana, katakana Indo Arabic numerals, and the occasional use of the Latin alphabet (also known as Rōmaji). The Japanese term kanji literally means "Han characters".

meggie said...

i'm interested in showing the world my inner sexiness.

victoria said...

git it done, yo

tomhanks said...

@Tao, Sarah sweet
@Masha hi, cool. being insecure is maybe more good than bad, to me, i think, because i have some kind of idea that insecure people are probably more likely to question their behavior/be more introspective, and maybe not treat other people badly because of that, i don't know, i actually have no idea
@Anonymous ass pounds can be bad on different body types
@P. Edward, ryan manning not sure what to say, asia
@meggie me too, my parents call me "meggie"
@victoria dank

C said...

Here's the thing about life; you win some, you lose some, you embarrass yourself along the way. I think I too sometimes feel like a minor character in a shitty sitcom. I feel this at times when I am losing at life.

Jerry Case said...

i think there is a formula like in "clams" for how a blog works. Except that you are the person you are writing to, and it feels like an obligatory communication. And instead of attraction, it's repulsion. Like a birthday card you have to write to a shitty step-dad or something.

tomhanks said...

jerry case

if i understand you correctly, then yes, exactly. i'm a little confused about how this "blog formula" applies to "clams," but i think maybe i get it, i don't know. curious about this.

chioke said...

I really like your writing! It's funny and feels real.

Well done Old Chap. (Not that I think you are old. I mean, maybe you are old, but I wouldn't think that. Unless you were actually old, and dying and talking about pomade and wrinkles. Well, not so much the wrinkles, 'cause young woman and older woman, in cliche tv shows talk about their wrinkles, and exasperated tones, and I don't think they are old. But you know. Whatevs.)

I'm gonna go read more of your stuff. Bye!

-Chioke

paul said...

tom hanks should have died in that one movie with the woman and the place with the thing

dudebra said...

fuck fat girls

Tao Lin said...

sup

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Erik Stinson said...

just tried to make a sexy face, thought about 'what if i was a fat girl'

paul said...

ryan manning sent me

victoria said...

so many days, so many hours

i'm still burnin' till you return

Faisal Admar said...

write more please.

Brian McElmurry said...

I enjoyed this. It's funny and human.

Juliana said...

"i think about being a 24 year old person in college for 6 years, living alone in a messy apartment, taking xanax and falling asleep with her mouth open watching hulu, well-liked by acquaintances but too antisocial and not confident enough to be regularly text messaged, allowing herself to write this sentence, taking herself too seriously"

Same but I'm only 21 bro!!! Already blowing life out the bong hole. Oh, but I would totally text you on the regular.